Tamzin Femme: Thigh Pilot

Sex. Sometimes you just can't avoid it. Sometimes the reveries are so real you snap to attention in the queue at K-Mart, surprised that you're actually fully clothed, and there is no cock in your mouth. Sometimes you just have to blog it. Welcome to my fuck journal.

Friday, June 30, 2006

the tentative return

I am considering re-launching Thigh Pilot. Just thinking for now...

Monday, July 25, 2005

Shucks, y'all gonna miss me?

Thankyou for the encouraging comments below people. I've been thinking about this whole throwing in the towel business with Thigh Pilot. I told a few people it existed, but never let on what it was called, with the aim of writing whatever I liked about sex: real, fantasised, exaggerated, fictionalised, whatever. When Eyes discovered it he was disappointed with how harmless it is - he was dreading what he would find, then relieved and puzzled to find nothing much at all except a lot of daydreaming about him and a couple of recounts of sex with my exes. I was angry at him for having searched for it and read it, but angrier that he told me - one day he announced he was so curious he was going to go hunting for it, and I replied, "If you do manage to find it, you must never tell me."

The thing is, there's nothing here I wouldn't have wanted him to read. I just didn't want to be restricted knowing that someone out there is reading it and knows who I am. To me, it's been a place to play, to put my reveries and memories into words.

It's all different now that Eyes and I have bitterness between us. And why? Well, lots of reasons, the most recent of which is that in spite of not finding much exciting to read in this blog, he pursued, right back into the archives, which of course is human nature, but then having discovered a fantasy about someone else, he decided to get shitty, and give me ye olde silent treatment.

What do I have to say about that? Baby, grow up.

I am disappointed and furious with him. Possibly enough to change the focus of my blog from sex to no-holds-barred emotion - rage, sadness, ranting, whatever. Right now I couldn't give a dog's dick if he reads it and gets offended. And when I'm mad I can be really, really mean.

I'm gonna sleep on this, and if I'm still furious, that's it, he cops it. Immature as that may sound, he has made himself unavailable for actual grown-up talking, so my venting will therefore occur as I damn well please. Here's to Blotching (blog bitching).

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

this blog needs to die

I think I will have to abandon Thigh Pilot. Eyes has discovered it, and it's no longer a secret. Sigh. It was good while it lasted.


Saturday, July 09, 2005

you're right!

Rupert says I haven't been blogging much lately. He's right. Sorry. It's partly a symptom of being busy with work, the old 9 to 5 grind - I don't want to talk about that side of my life here because it's inane - and partly because I haven't felt like writing about sex lately. I'm having a break, sometimes I feel I've said all I can about sex and I'm just rehashing old entries, and I run out of ways to say fuck pussy and cock, even though there sure are moments I want to record and share.

It's funny having a sex blog. I almost feel under pressure to tell everything about my sex life sometimes, which I don't mind at all, but if I don't feel like writing about it for a while it's something akin to guilt, and I find myself procrastinating just like I used to at uni. But hey, fans, if I can call you that, rest assured that I operate in waves, and soon the urge will return and I will purge and splurge and spray all manner of juices in your d-erection.


Friday, July 01, 2005

I figured out how to use my dildo

you?re probably thinking duh, you just turn it on and plunge it in. well I can do that easily enough but it doesn?t do all that much, with the result that my black rubber cock sits in a drawer most of the time gathering fanny-flavoured dust. those of us who require clitoral attention for real pleasure think of the actual vag as a secondary component. one of my high school friends once said ?it?s dodgy, that hole. it shouldn?t even be there.? things can plunge in and out of there all they like but for me it?s not enough, I need to have pressure around my clitoris as well.

so this morning, hungover and horny, I showered and then got straight back into bed, naked, because I was too hammered to even get dressed and start the day. I never sleep naked ? I get too cold ? so slipping under a cosy quilt with no clothes on is an exciting novelty for me. I touch myself and pretend I?m someone else. my tits feel wonderful: buoyant and fruity, my snatch is smooth until I get to the slit and there it?s hot and creamy and when I touch it there I take a loud suck of air and lick my lips. today I was wriggling into my sheet, grinding around on the mattress, and I decided to reach for my vibrator for the first time in a while.

I should mention that when I masturbate I rarely finger myself. it?s all about the clit. if I?m doing it in front of someone else it?s a different story, I play it up much more and I do finger myself then, but when I?m alone I have a special way of making myself come that I have done since I was a little girl. I usually lie on my belly, one hand between my legs right up at the crotch, and I squeeze my thighs tight on my hand while gently pressing it into my pussy. I can orgasm quickly, multiple times, sometimes for a couple of hours (usually when I?m comatose from drugs or drinking).

so today I got the best of both worlds when I began to fuck my dildo but soon got frustrated by the lack of sensation at my clit, so I rolled over and touched myself in the usual way with the dildo still inside me, gently humming away. ah, what a revolution. the smell of pussy was all around me, on my hands, my vibrator, and oh how I wanted to be fucked. I came about five times before I wiped all the womb juice off and put it away.

I think I?ll do it again now.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

i have a new name for my pussy

I'm calling her Femi-nest.

Monday, June 06, 2005

sometimes I think I'm a man

I'm not really turned on by the bodies of men. They're all hard and hairy, I think of them as utilities rather than beautiful pieces of aesthetic harmony. In bed with men I tend to receive much more than I give - I simply don't like the action of yanking a cock up and down, it seems primitive, and if ever I do it I find myself getting bored regardless of the apparent pleasure of the man, and I just want his hands to be on me. It's not like I just sit back and take, but I've noticed that when I'm purely receiving and writhing and moaning in a state of dripping hysteria, the man is much more turned on than if I'm 'giving' to him, I guess because I enjoy myself a lot more when it's him being responsible for my pleasure and not the other way around. Men feel proud when what they are doing appears to be working, as if they've conquered a tricky piece of machinery, but women feel no such satisfaction, or at least, to a much less extent. Maybe it's part of being a confident person. I feel no obligation to please my partner if it doesn't please me. I am not the kind of girl who will bend over and be whipped if I don't like the idea. I know there are many women who would, just to make their partner happy. Maybe I'm just selfish.

But this is all contrary to the way I feel about women. I have only slept with one woman, and I remember the feeling of her tits in my hands, the graceful way that her slim white arms rose and fell as I stroked them, the almost painful shocks of pleasure when I put my finger in the hot flesh of her pussy, the way she licked mine with a soft patient tongue. When I think about sex, at least half of my fantasies are about girls. When I am fantasising men it is inevitably the fucking that I am craving, it's the slam of his meaty cock all the way inside me, it's being ravished and pounded roughly, furiously, having the moans pumped out of me.

Even my own splendid vagina makes me excited. I love thinking about that place, that slit that is the inside of woman, place of strange smells and intoxicating mystery. I imagine girls squatting, leaning naked against a wall, their legs spread so wide that the little pink beak of their pussy looks like a small creature nesting there, mouth open hungry, waiting to be fed.

In fantasies that involve men it's always him playing with my cunt. I don't think I've ever visualised me playing with a penis, except with my lips and tongue - that is the exception, I love giving head because I love the way the cock feels in my mouth. My hand however is hardly the wet muscle that my tongue is, so stroking or masturbating penises is just boring for me. Clearly I need more vagina and tit in my life. One thing I've never done is rub my pussy hard against another, right in the pink parts, like with legs scissored around one another. I imagine it would feel divine.
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